The Decision

So after finding out that I was pregnant my first initial thought was THERE IS NO WAY I CAN DO THIS. I was going to get an abortion. My mind was set. How the hell would I ever be able to do this? I am not with the dad, I am all alone out here, I am still living pay check to pay check. I had made my choice. I was going to terminate it.

My doctor gave me some information of where I could go and how the procedure works. So after a day passed I read the pamphlet they gave me. There are 2 sides: Instructions & Services. After reading the instructions I thought “Oh this isn’t so bad” until I read the services section.

Services:

1 Medical History– Fill out forms

2 Laboratory Test– As indicated

3 Counseling– Questions and answers. Explanation of procedures, Consent forms, after care & birth control instructions.

Procedure- Your cervix will be dilated and the contents of your uterus emptied. The entire procedure usually only takes a few minutes.

How.. What? How.. (Let me just make this clear before I continue. I am very pro choice. It is non of my business to judge anyone on any decision that anyone makes. This is just my story & how I felt.) My cervix will be dilated and the CONTENTS of my uterus empties. Contents of my uterus emptied. Contents of my uterus emptied. But no big deal cause the entire procedure usually only takes a few minutes.. Is kind ironic how something that literally changes your life, for the rest of your life could be gone in just a few minutes.

Mind you I read this before work, so that whole day my mind was all over the place. Could I do this, could I not do this. Pros and Cons. If I did go through with the abortion I could continue my life and use this as a lesson, but could I live with my decision? Would I regret it? Or if I do keep it could I do this? Financially? How can I afford this? I would have to move and find another job! I have to buy a car. Get a full time job. BENEFITS?! I can’t do this. But could I live with this decision?  Don’t things happen for a reason? I prayed about it. My mind was racing, my anxiety was on full force.  I AM TERRIFIED. Then all of a sudden my mind was made.

I’m keeping it.

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